Farewell, Sgt Crispy

Wednesday I wanted to quit my job. I felt ineffectual, unprepared, unsupported, exhausted, uncomfortable, and exactly like I was back to being bullied as a kid. 

Context: HS Study hall got placed in my library while figuring out the more essential classes’ locations. I was told that this was temporary and that it wouldn’t affect my PreK-5th classes. They found a substitute to cover the Study Hall, and off we went. 

The woman they sent has been at the school for long enough to claim to know every student and every detail of how things run. She’s 70, but acts like she’s been in the oven for about 20 years longer than that. Everything was an eyeroll and a snarky comment at how stupid “X” decision, change, or person was. Someone had to use the Chromebook she preferred (while she was out one day), libraries “weed” old books, the spinning bar stool chairs were going to be moved to a student lounge she’d never heard of, I dared put a sign on tables requesting that they stay in the lowest hydraulic position…and on and on. 

She was helpful on the first day, when students had zero assignments and messed up schedules- she knew who was who, and kept them from murdering each other. Because no one had assignments yet, I didn’t feel right telling them not to socialize the whole time. Unfortunately, this woman thinks that study hall is basically lazy babysitting any day, even when kids have work to do. She held court in the corner of the room, adding students as her friends on social media, and engaged in their social discussions (like which gas stations don't check ID).  She also was under the impression that the library would be the study hall’s permanent location, and god forbid you tell her that’s not what you were told by the principal. It's hard to convey just how disagreeable this woman was - no decision or direction I could give was accepted without an eyeroll, a scowl, or a judgmental sigh.  I realized Wednesday that I was acquiescing to whatever bullshit demands she made, because that’s what I did to avoid further scrutiny when being bullied in MS/HS. That gross over-polite and helpful response isn’t normal. Seeking the approval of someone like that is not healthy, and I was sucked right back into being a target.

The problem really became that there were groups of students using the time to heckle their classmates and generally make everyone else’s work period uncomfortable.  If you were targeted as a kid, you know the type: nothing is off-limits for commentary, and any single detail about you is potential ammunition to them. 

When I asked the Sub who one mouthy kid was after he left, I was brushed off nastily, with the words “No one cares. Everyone is fine with it, they know who he is.” 

I’d had enough by this point. I decided to put my foot down,

“That’s your opinion a-“
“It’s not an opinion, it’s how it is-"
“LET ME FINISH. It is an opinion, and it’s incomplete. He’s making the environment hostile and it doesn’t have to be that way.” 

…and I walked away to my desk while she continued to make snide comments to any student who would listen. 

That was Wednesday. 

I came in on Thursday with a plan: to greet each study hall period with an introduction and my expectations. They were guests in my classroom, and there are rules when you’re in someone else’s space. When Sgt Crispy came in, I said good morning (she ignored me), and then told her what I expected.  

"I don't care how it's been handled in the past, or how you think things should work.  This is my classroom and I am the Librarian.  I set the rules here."  

I handed her a copy of the HS Library rules, and she read it with exactly the sourpuss you’d expect. 

I proceeded to do as I’d planned. Throughout the morning, I was reassured with polite nods of agreement and even a few “got it!” responses from the students. A few even wandered over to ask library questions afterward, and some of the kids who had been hiding in the corners came further out into the room. I ran a first grade lesson without any issues, too. 

The difficult period came around and the mouthy kid started out better, a little, but eventually he stopped pretending to work and just started messing around. Eventually Sgt Crispy actually had to do something because he started smacking the kid next to him, fussing with the light switch, and throwing garbage. 

When they left, I gave her a pointed look and a shrug. “Guess I told you so,” I thought. She left for lunch. 

Now for the good part. 

While she was gone, I ate my lunch and went on lunch duty elsewhere in the building. When we all came back to the library, the tall tables and spinning chairs were miraculously gone, taken to the mythical student lounge that Crispy swore didn’t exist. She seethed and fumed and complained to the teens all period. She also complained about not having a fan on her side of the library (more on this later), but did absolutely nothing to solve the problem. 

At the end of the day, she left early (because I said Sure, I can dismiss these kids so you can go. Have a good night, don’t drown in the storm, etc.). 

I came back Friday morning feeling better. I left a fan on her table with a note “hope this helps!” 

…it’s my shittiest fan, and it barely works.   

She came in, ignored my good morning again, but said “WELL IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT YOUR WISH. [‘Oh? What’s my wish?’] I’M GONE. STUDY HALL IS GOING TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE.” 

So theoretically, Friday was her last day parked in my room, and next week she’ll be bouncing around various rooms on different days. Not ideal for study hall, but better for ensuring that the library is a welcoming space for other classes. Good riddance, you odious dried up popcorn fart of a woman. Don’t let the door hit you on your bitter, bony old ass on the way out!